When I learned the word “Collectivistic” in my social work graduate program’s Feminist Theory class I felt overjoyed.
I had found this word that described how I felt in my family, with friends and in my community.
Google defines collectivistic as “valuing collective action over individual identity”.
Collectivism became a goal I wanted to strive for in my professional and personal life. I would ask myself, “How can I form community with my clients and empower them to also seek community?”.
This one word has framed my usage of several modalities and theories that guide therapy. When I hear of a new therapeutic technique; I ask “how will this look if taken by collective action? Is it possible? Do people relate to this technique the same way they would relate to other values and beliefs?”
While using collectivism as an approach to therapy connects with my values, it has potential pitfalls. A potential pitfall I experienced was that as a new therapist embracing collectivism I began over-identifying with clients because we had similar marginalized identities. I assumed that if a client was Black, Queer, and working to accomplish higher education like myself, that we must have the same values, beliefs, and together we were striving for collective action of accomplishing their therapeutic goals.
I remember feeling disappointment, helplessness working with a client, and considerable discomfort due to my own expectations. I wanted to shelter them. I sought supervision and realized that I cared for my client but was not empowering them in the way they needed.
It's been helpful to be able to name this sort of interaction with clients as over-identification. You might also experience over-identification in your relationships. Over-identification happens when we make assumptions about someone with whom we share identities or life experiences.
While we may share some labels and similarities with others, our neurotypes, upbringings, and other aspects of our intersectional identities may be very different. We may both be Queer and your own identity exploration could involve facets I have not explored within myself. We may have shared similar values, but our beliefs may be different, especially when it comes to social relationships and how we see society.
Going forward, I have done a few things to decrease the chances of over-identification happening again:
Not assuming my client’s goals, needs or wants
Engaging in supervision and consultation
Checking in and reflecting with my clients on their goals
Understand that countertransference happens, but it is how you deal with it that matters.
That helps me as a therapist and I invite you to consider, when you're feeling frustrated with someone you relate to, if part of what's happening is over-identification. Something to consider: What might help you recognize over-identification in your relationships while continuing to honor your collectivist values?
As a therapist, I want to get to know my clients' goals, beliefs and values, and empower them to seek community in the way they want to seek community. I strive to provide authentic, honest communication, and also receive feedback in a constructive way.
If you are seeking a therapist with a collectivistic approach in Virginia, I want you to know: Building the therapeutic relationship is my number one priority, and I would be excited to go on this journey with you. I support you in choosing what direction to go.
Elease Cook LCSW
Inclusive therapist specializing in supporting Black women and nonbinary people
Psychotherapist at Divergent Path Wellness
If you are seeking an inclusive therapist like Elease in Virginia click the link below to schedule your free consultation.
Not in Virginia? Check out https://inclusivetherapists.com
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