Like a Song Stuck in Your Head: Make Peace with Intrusive Thoughts

We’ve all experienced it—going about our day when suddenly, a song hijacks our brain. It might be an upbeat jingle or a barely noticed melody from the radio, but now it’s looping endlessly, refusing to be silenced. Whether you like the song or not, it’s there, repeating like a broken record

They're those sudden, unwanted thoughts that pop into your head—disturbing, distracting, or downright bizarre. You didn’t ask for them, you don’t want them, and yet, there they are. And the more you try not to think about them, the louder and more persistent they seem to become.

What if the goal isn't to get rid of the "song"—the intrusive thought—but to change how we relate to it?

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That’s where Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) comes in. Rooted in mindfulness and behavioral science, ACT helps us develop psychological flexibility: the ability to stay present with difficult experiences while continuing to move toward what matters most. Instead of trying to control our thoughts, we learn to accept their presence and commit to living a meaningful life anyway.

Intrusive Thoughts: Normal but Unwelcome Guests

First, let’s normalize something: intrusive thoughts are a universal human experience. Whether it’s a sudden fear of blurting out something inappropriate in a quiet room, a violent image flashing through your mind, or an irrational worry about a loved one getting hurt—they're all variations of the same thing.

You're not alone, almost everyone has intrusive thoughts. Some people don't think of them that way because of the weight of the term: intrusive thoughts are supposed to be scary and horrifying. The difference between someone who shrugs them off and someone who becomes deeply distressed by them often comes down to how we relate to and handle the thoguhts—not their content.

The Song You Can’t Stop Hearing

Imagine hearing a catchy tune in the morning, maybe something annoying like a commercial jingle:Don't worry, I'm not going to try to put one in your head here, but to make an example, lets' say it's telling us to call 555-carfix.

Now it’s stuck. You try to ignore it, hum something else, distract yourself—but it keeps coming back. The more you resist, the more persistent it becomes.

This is similar to what happens with intrusive thoughts. We label them as dangerous or unacceptable, try to push them away, and paradoxically, this feeds their power. Your brain takes your resistance as a cue that this thought is important. Now, it starts looping louder.

So, what can we do instead?

ACT in Action: Six Principles for a New Relationship with Intrusive Thoughts

Let’s walk through the six core processes of ACT and how they help reduce the impact of intrusive thoughts—without needing to silence them entirely.

1. Cognitive Defusion: Hearing the Song, Not Becoming It

When a song is stuck in your head, you don’t believe the lyrics. You don't suddenly think you need to call 555-CARFIX. You recognize it as just a sound in your mind. Intrusive thoughts can be treated the same way.

Cognitive defusion is about creating space between you and your thoughts. Instead of “I’m a terrible person for having that thought,” you say, “I’m having the thought that I’m a terrible person.”

Try this: When an intrusive thought arises, silently say to yourself, “I’m noticing I’m having the thought that…” and fill in the blank. This phrasing creates a little distance. It’s like hearing the song without turning up the volume.

Another technique: Imagine the thought as a karaoke lyric scrolling by on a screen. You can see it, hear it, but you don’t have to sing along.

2. Acceptance: Letting the Song Play

Acceptance doesn’t mean approval or liking the thought—it means stopping the war with it. It’s the difference between covering your ears in frustration and simply letting the song fade in the background as you get on with your day.

This might sound counterintuitive, especially if the thought is disturbing. But think of how trying to force the song out of your head only makes it loop louder. In the same way, welcoming intrusive thoughts without resistance reduces their intensity over time.

You might say to yourself:"Ah, there you are again. That old familiar tune. You can hang out, but I’ve got things to do."

It’s not resignation—it’s freedom from control.

3. Contact with the Present Moment: Turn Down the Mental Volume

Often, we get lost in our heads—replaying the thought, analyzing it, judging ourselves for it. Meanwhile, life is happening around us.

Mindfulness brings us back to now. What do you see, hear, feel in your body right now? Notice your breath, the sensation of your feet on the floor, the temperature of the air.

This isn’t about escaping the thought. It’s about anchoring yourself in the present so the thought has less room to dominate your awareness.

Try this exercise: Name 5 things you can see, 4 you can hear, 3 you can touch, 2 you can smell, and 1 you can taste. It’s a simple way to quiet the internal noise and reconnect with your surroundings.

4. Self-as-Context: You Are Not the Song

When we fuse with our thoughts, we start identifying with them:"If I think this thought, I must be this kind of person."

But just as the radio can play a terrible song without being the song, you can have any thought without it defining you.

ACT calls this the “observing self”—the part of you that notices, that witnesses, that is unchanged by passing thoughts or feelings. Thoughts are like weather; you are the sky.

When intrusive thoughts show up, try saying:"There’s that thought again. And here I am, the one noticing it."

You don’t need to get rid of the thought to remember who you are.

5. Values: What Song Do You Want to Dance To?

If you weren’t so caught up in fighting your thoughts, what would you be doing right now?

ACT shifts the focus from eliminating pain to pursuing purpose. What matters most to you—connection, creativity, service, authenticity? Your values are the music you choose to move to, regardless of the background noise.

Let’s say your intrusive thoughts are about harm, and they scare you. You can notice them, accept them, and still choose to act from compassion, love, and care. You can write your own melody.

A helpful prompt: "Even though this thought is here, what kind of person do I want to be in this moment?"

6. Committed Action: Dance Anyway

Living a values-based life means taking action—even with unwanted thoughts in the mix.

It’s like hearing a song you don’t like while shopping—you can notice it, maybe even find it annoying, but you still buy your groceries. You still smile at the cashier. You still live.

Start small. Identify one tiny action you can take today that aligns with your values. It could be texting a friend, taking a walk, or engaging in creative work. Do it with the thought, not despite it.

Over time, this builds trust in yourself:"I can have this thought and still live a life that matters."

Final Thoughts: It’s Just a Song

Intrusive thoughts can be painful and confusing, especially when they target your deepest fears or values. But like a song stuck in your head, they aren’t a reflection of your character. They’re just mental noise—sometimes loud, sometimes soft, but always temporary.

ACT doesn’t promise to silence them. Instead, it invites you to stop struggling, shift your focus, and reclaim your life.

You don’t have to dance to every tune your mind plays. You can nod, say, “There’s that song again,” and keep moving toward what you care about most.

Because you’re not your thoughts. You’re the one listening, and you get to choose the rhythm of your life.

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Matthew Christensen MSW

Supervisee in social work

Psychotherapist at Divergent Path Wellness

If this post resonated with you, or you're seeking a mental health therapist in Virginia, we invite you to explore our services at Divergent Path Wellness. 

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