Do you have trouble starting and finishing tasks? As a psychotherapist with ADHD, I can tell you you're not alone. Many people, including myself, relate to the struggle to get things done. What can you do about it? In my practice, I use what's called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to address some of those task-progress challenges.
Tasks as the Building Blocks of Values
When people hear the word task, they often think of chores like doing the dishes, folding laundry, or writing a blog post for work, but it can also be things I enjoy like putting together the Lego set that I bought a year ago that is still sitting in the box, or scheduling a game night with friends that we've been meaning to put on the calendar for what feels like forever.
Tasks can feel like a to-do list: mundane stuff that we need to check off so we can get onto the important stuff in life. It can be easy for me to let them pile up because it feels like such a slog to get them done. What if we think of them a different way though? Why do we care if we get these tasks done in the first place? This is where values come in.
By values, I don't necessarily mean ethics or morals as they are often thought of. Instead, I am drawing on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) which describes values more like guiding principles that reflect what matters to us. Values are more like directions of travel than they are rules of right and wrong. One example of this might be a business owner working to make a living while not wanting to take advantage of people in the process. There are many tasks associated with business ownership but the values might be summed up as caring (not taking advantage of others) and sustainability (making a living).
Values can be almost anything, common examples might include things like connection (game night with friends) or the ease you experience in having a clean space in which to live (doing the dishes). “But Matthew, you're right back where you started: mundane tasks. How do you make yourself do them? I need to clear my to-do list!”
Why does your to-do list matter?
Why do you want to clear your to-do list? Is it just so you can be done and stop that nagging voice in the back of your head? It can be hard for me to be motivated if all I'm getting out of it is not having to worry about doing it anymore. Don't get me wrong, there can be a great sense of accomplishment in crossing something off your to-do list, but for me personally, the future reward of crossing an item off a list is not enough to get me started.
Here's what I suggest instead: Rather than thinking of tasks as separate from your purpose or direction, try thinking of them as the very things that help you to be the person you want to be.
For instance, if one of your core values is well-being, some associated tasks might include things like going for a walk, preparing a healthy meal, or getting enough sleep. Each of these seemingly small tasks is a deliberate choice that reflects your commitment to your value of well-being. They’re not just chores. They’re the ways you show up for what’s important to you.
The beauty of this approach is that any task can be a success in the pursuit of your values. You don’t need to wait for a grand moment to be making progress. Even completing a small, seemingly mundane task can be a victory when it brings you closer, even incrementally, to living the life you want.
If connection is one of your values, tasks like texting a friend, scheduling a catch-up call, or simply being present with loved ones count as progress. These tasks don’t have to be perfect or “big” to be meaningful. They are everyday actions that align with doing what matters.
When Obstacles Arise
Sometimes, tasks may feel like obstacles or distractions from your larger values. However, ACT encourages you to reframe them: by choosing tasks that reflect your values, you’re moving forward, even if it’s just in small increments.
Take the example of my Lego set; it can feel like a binary task. It's in the box or it's put together, displayed on a shelf. That feels like a big, singular task. By recognizing that ANY progress forward is a success in pursuit of our values, I can break that down into smaller steps.
Smaller steps can be as big or as small as you need them to be. For building a Lego set, I might start with picking a spot in my home where I can spread out for some amount of time and actually put it together. There, task set. Now by picking up the box and setting it on an empty table, I've made values-aligned progress. So instead of beating myself up for still not finishing it yet, I can celebrate that I took a step in a meaningful direction. In ACT, the focus is not on perfection but on taking accessible actions towards what matters, even if things don’t go perfectly. Progress, no matter how small, is still progress. It counts.
If a day goes by and you weren’t able to accomplish a task that supports your values, instead of beating yourself up, approach it with self-compassion. The important thing is to try again tomorrow. The task itself isn’t as important as your commitment to your values over time.
Make Time for Joy
I chose my example of building a Lego set deliberately. It's not a typical, everyday task. It's leisure. Leisure is important. Fun is important. Even when things are dark, especially when things are dark, we need to find things that will bring us joy. They belong on your to-do list along with everything else. I often hear about the 'importance of self-care'. It IS important. It belongs on the list.
Final Thoughts: Small Tasks, Big Impact
Beware of the desire to wait for the right time. In ACT, we don’t need to wait for a “perfect” moment to align our lives with our values. Every task you complete, no matter how small, is a step toward living in a way that reflects what you truly care about. Whether it’s making time for self-care, reaching out to someone you care about, or pursuing your career goals, every task is a meaningful part of the process.
Celebrate the tasks you’ve completed, because they’re not just mundane actions—they’re the small, everyday choices that lead you closer to living a values-driven life. Progress isn’t about grand achievements; it’s about showing up each day and taking intentional steps toward the life you want to live.
Supervisee in social work
Psychotherapist at Divergent Path Wellness
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