Jokes On You: The Discomfort of Disruptive Humor for Literal Thinkers

April 1 rolls around, and suddenly the world feels a little less safe. Alarms are set for fake wake-up calls, coffee mugs mysteriously taste of salt, news headlines boast unbelievable stories. For many, April Fool’s Day is harmless fun. But for literal thinkers—often autistic, ADHD, or otherwise neurodivergent—the holiday can land differently.

What’s framed as humor can feel like deception, even betrayal. And the discomfort doesn’t vanish on April 2, which also happens to be World Autism Acceptance Day.

This post isn’t about dismissing jokes altogether. Humor is vital—it relieves stress, builds connection, and offers joy. But when humor relies on trickery or social disruption, it can alienate the very people who value honesty most.

1. Why Disruptive Humor Feels Threatening

Literal thinkers tend to process information directly and quickly. When someone says, “Your car is being towed!” and laughs afterward, the brain races to solve the problem before it realizes the statement was false. That moment of confusion or alarm isn’t neutral—it’s experienced as a threat.

Neurodivergent nervous systems often run “on high.” For autistic people, social unpredictability is already stressful; for ADHD brains, impulsivity can heighten the sting of being tricked. What feels like a joke to one person can feel like gaslighting to another: a signal that the ground isn’t steady and people can’t be trusted.

This is also why some popular forms of humor don’t land well. America’s Funniest Home Videos clips of people falling down, or prank phone calls where someone is strung along until they realize they’ve been duped, may generate laughter for some but just seem mean-spirited to literal thinkers. Instead of comedy, they highlight vulnerability, embarrassment, or pain. For people who value honesty and clarity, watching someone be deceived or humiliated can feel uncomfortable, not funny.

It’s not that literal thinkers lack humor—it’s that humor based on deception taps directly into vulnerability. The discomfort is real, and so is the need for others to recognize that “just joking” doesn’t erase the impact.

2. The Shame of Not Laughing

Many neurodivergent people have childhood memories of being the only one not laughing. Perhaps a teacher delivered a sarcastic comment, and everyone chuckled while one student panicked. Or a family member pulled a prank, and instead of amusement, the child cried.

The social message lands hard: “You don’t get it.” Over time, this can breed shame—feeling out of sync with peers, or believing something is wrong with you because humor feels hurtful. Worse, some learn to laugh along even while uncomfortable, masking their true reactions to avoid standing out.

The truth: finding pranks unfunny doesn’t mean you’re humorless. It means your nervous system and values are oriented toward trust, clarity, and safety—qualities that are deeply human, not deficits.

3. The Humor Literal Thinkers Do Enjoy

Literal thinkers often thrive on wordplay, clever irony, or observational humor. Puns, malapropisms, and double-entendres can spark real delight. Dark humor, with its sharp edges and honest commentary, also often resonates—it’s less about trickery and more about naming truths others avoid.

It’s no coincidence that many famously funny fictional characters are written as literal thinkers: Abed in Community, Anne in Anne of Green Gables (and the Netflix adaptation Anne with an E), and Chidi in The Good Place. These characters are beloved precisely because their earnestness, overthinking, or “too literal” observations land as both humorous and endearing.

Neurodivergent people often connect with this kind of humor because it reframes the world without deception. It disrupts social scripts not by pulling the rug out from under others, but by noticing overlooked details, exposing contradictions, or poking fun at norms. That’s humor that doesn’t just invite a laugh—it invites connection.

4. Navigating Humor in Relationships

Humor is personal, and mismatched humor styles can create friction in relationships. One partner may love practical jokes, while the other experiences them as betrayal. One friend may default to sarcasm, while another feels stung.

The key is communication. Neurodivergent literal thinkers may need to state boundaries clearly:

• “I don’t enjoy pranks—it makes me feel unsafe.”

• “Sarcasm often confuses me. Could you tell me when you’re joking?”

• “I love wordplay and funny observations. That kind of humor feels connecting.”

These statements aren’t demands to eliminate humor but invitations to find humor that works for both people. When friends, family, or colleagues listen and adjust, the result is deeper connection.

For those on the receiving end, honoring humor boundaries is an act of respect.

Expecting someone to “just get over it” is dismissive. True humor thrives where trust is strong.

5. Strategies for Literal Thinkers

When faced with humor that feels uncomfortable, you have choices:

• Pause before reacting. Ask yourself: is this a joke or a genuine statement?

• Name your experience. A simple “That confused me—was that a joke?” can reduce shame.

• Set boundaries. You’re allowed to say no to humor that hurts.

• Curate your humor spaces. Seek out comedians, podcasts, or friends whose humor feels affirming.

Remember: you don’t owe anyone laughter. Your response matters as much as theirs.

Beyond April Fools

April 1 may celebrate disruption, but April 2 asks us to think differently—about autism, neurodivergence, and acceptance. Humor doesn’t have to come at the cost of trust. For literal thinkers, the best jokes are the ones that invite connection, not confusion.

If disruptive humor has left you feeling “out of the joke,” here's an insider tip: you’re not alone, and your way of seeing the world isn’t broken. Honesty, clarity, and trust are values worth laughing with—not laughing at.

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Helen Dempsey-Henofer LCSW ADHD-CCSP

Founder & Clinical Supervisor - Divergent Path Wellness