top of page
  • Writer's pictureHelen Dempsey-Henofer

From Isolation to Connection: A Compassionate Guide to Self-Care

Updated: Sep 6, 2023

Sometimes life throws us into situations that cause us to feel like a foreign object. You just don't fit in. In that environment, humans (yep, like us) tend to feel isolated, disconnected, or different. You might feel that that if life "threw" you anywhere it was so long ago that you don't remember things ever being different.

These feelings can be overwhelming and lead to anxiety. You might even feel like you're drowning with no one to connect with. That's a huge, very real, challenge. Self-care strategies can offer needed relief. Let's explore some ways to nurture ourselves in isolation and reach out with compassion, both to ourselves and others.

1. Recognize Your Feelings

Acknowledge what you're feeling with openness. It's normal to feel isolated or disconnected, especially when life takes unexpected turns. Take a breath and notice what's there. If you don't have names for emotions, pay attention to your body. If there are sensations of tension or vibration, sensations are feelings. You're invited to be curious about them. If you notice emotions that you've got names for like "stifled" or "uneasy" (just to name a few) that's great information. Whatever you're feeling, your feelings are valid.

2. Build Your Self-Care Toolkit

Create a set of tools that work specifically for you. Maybe it's a warm bath, a good book, screaming along to Norwegian heavy metal, or connecting with a friend who understands. In the dialectical behavioral therapy world (DBT) they call this "building positive experiences". In ACT we might call it connecting with values. Don't be afraid to experiment and find what truly resonates with you.

3. Reach Out

Sometimes, the feelings of isolation stem from not having reached out to others. If possible, connect with someone who can provide support. Remember, it doesn't always have to be a deep conversation. Even a simple "hello" or "send memes" can help us have a needed thread of connection.

4. Challenge Yourself Gently

Set small, achievable goals that push you just a little out of your comfort zone. It can be as simple as going for a short walk or trying a new hobby. Do something? Notice it! These challenges can ignite a sense of accomplishment and connection for the person you spend the most time with: yourself.

5. Embrace Community

Find communities, online or offline, that share your interests or experiences. Feeling like an outsider doesn't mean you're alone. The truth is that "belonging" isn't putting on a performance to fit in. It's important to go exploring and discover the community where you can be you.

6. Consult a Professional

If feelings of isolation or anxiety persist, don't hesitate to seek professional help. There's nothing wrong with needing to talk to someone. Therapists like us are here to support you on your journey, acknowledging your unique identity and challenges. We work with people ages 14+ in Virginia. Got questions about therapy? Email us:

To schedule a free consultation simply click the link below and schedule at "Schedule a free consultation' (the last link from the navigation bar) on the website. If we're not the right fit, that's okay. We recommend the therapist directories Inclusive Therapists and Therapy Den.

Isolation doesn't have to be a permanent state. By practicing self-care, reaching out to others, and challenging ourselves gently, we can find connection and compassion even in the loneliest times. You're not alone in this, and we're here to support you.

10 views0 comments


bottom of page